Anxiety

Written July 2, 2011 at 10:00 am in the LAX airport

Anxiety

Noun.

1.     a state of uneasiness or tension caused by apprehension of possible future misfortune, danger, etc; worry

2.     intense desire; eagerness

I have always struggled with goodbyes. For some reason, it is always so much harder than I expect it to be. And from my observations, it is even more difficult for my mom, who has texted me three or four times since I got to the airport, asking me if everything is ok.

This morning, I woke up at 6am, said my goodbyes to my sister and my dad and then hit the road for a 2-hour drive with my mom to Los Angeles International Airport. I got to the airport with 3 hours to spare, said goodbye to my mom, and am currently sitting at my gate, waiting to board the plane.

The only word I can think of to describe my feelings right now is anxiety.

In the past 2 hours that I have been sitting in the airport, all I have done is read through all of my papers about things to know for my trip over and over again. But no matter how many times I read through all of the information I have, I will never be able to get rid of this anxiety that I am feeling.

I have been to foreign places before such as Cancun, Tahiti, and the Caribbean, but all of those times, I have been with my family and my parents have taken care of everything. Not only that, but most of those “vacation” spots are geared towards American tourists, making it very easy to communicate and get around.

Japan is different though. I have no idea what to expect. The transportation already looks extremely complicated from all of the information I have. The maps are not very thorough and most of the information is written in Japanese characters. I am kind of regretting not learning some Japanese before diving into this trip.